Your Instinct When It Comes To Love

       You might not realize it yet but you’re naturally blessed with the instinctive knowledge to have the relationship you want, you simply have to apply it. More an inner voice than an actual emotion, intuition is the “gut feeling” that reminds you of a person just seconds before they call, or it creates a sense of calm that tells you you’re on the right track- even if odds seem stacked against you.

Naturally bestowed to each of us for use as a survival tool, this “sixth sense” is intended to keep you in concert with the world around you. It follows then, that by getting in touch with your inner voice and honing a particular set of intuitive skills, you can improve your life as a whole and specifically, enhance your relationship!

Notice what you notice
One of the hardest things for those of us who aren’t accustomed to tapping into our intuition to believe is that nothing is coincidence. Every single choice we make is a decision about what we want to encounter. It’s all about perspective. In other words, we can choose to see the good in things, or we can choose to see the bad. Naturally, this applies to our love lives, too. Generally speaking, what strikes you about your partner? Over the next few days, make it a point to notice what you notice. From the socks left on the floor to that afternoon text message that reminds you that they’re thinking of you, good, bad, sexy, annoying, whatever, make a note of your mate-related observations – mentally, or better yet, in a journal.

Now here’s the hard part. Once you’re looking over the things you noticed about your partner, it’s not them you’re judging, it’s yourself. Did you notice mostly positive things or mostly negative? Do those things say more about your mate or more about you? It’s not to say that noticing bad things is well, a bad thing, however, if you want to have a mutually loving and positive relationship and you’re not noticing the positive aspects of your partner… you can see how that might be difficult, right?

Make it a point to point out the positives about your partner – in your own head and, if you really want to stir something, out loud (or in a note) to them. While you may be forcing it at first, pretty soon, you’ll start to see these things before the dishes in the sink or the addiction to their blackberry. And if you find yourself still constantly drawn to the negative characteristics of your partner or your partnership, trust your gut… is it possible this person just isn’t for you? Odds are, if you’re down on them all the time, they’re also at least a little down on you. Conversely, if you begin to accentuate the positivity in your perceptions, they will very likely begin to see more positive things in you! On that note…

The right kind of mirror

Anais Nin once said, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” For most of us, nothing could be more true. After all, our eyes are the only eyes we can see things through! The catch, however, is that when we’re in touch with our intuition, we can tell the difference between what we’re projecting and what is legitimate information given to us by the universe.

Projections may make you angry or hurt – because they’re touching a nerve. They’re our own thoughts, feelings, fears or insecurities assigned to our partners. I’m not good enough for them, they’d prefer to date someone else, they’re going to disappear. Intuitive messages, on the other hand, won’t usually spark feelings, they’ll come as facts or statements, and perhaps, as suggestions. Work is stressing them out – they need to relax. When you’re really in tune, it may even get as specific as give them a foot massage. A great way to tell the difference between your intuition and your projections is that intuition is detached from your emotions.

In order to become the right kind of mirror for your mate, allow yourself to absorb the rolling thoughts and sensations that occur when you’re around them (or you’re reminded of them). Of course these messages may not come in straightforward phrases (like work is stressing them out). Rather, you may get images or hear sounds. A desk piled high with paperwork, a constantly ringing phone… Whatever your particular signals are, work on recognizing the difference between your projections and real intuitive information and gradually, you will be able to accommodate them in ways you hadn’t done before, which will not only make them feel loved, but more inclined to do the same sorts of things for you!

Envision outcomes
Finally, now that you’re used to 1) noticing what you notice, 2) paying attention to the thoughts and sensations given to you as signs, and 3) meeting your mate’s subconscious needs, you can begin focusing on outcomes you’d like and how to get them. Of course, it’s not quite as simple as rolling “take out the garbage!” on a repeat loop in your focused mind, but rather, it’s about positive projection.

Instead, concentrate on outcomes like “Our life is so harmonious when we both take on our share of the housework.” “Our sex is passionate when you bring me flowers for no reason or show up with take out after a particularly stressful day.” Now, imagine the joy your partner feels when you have killer sex and a harmonious home life. Next, project that feeling upon them – not the “act” or “action” you desire, but the “outcome.” If you operate with those intentions and project your partner’s (not your) harmonious feelings, your outcomes will start to shift in the direction you desire. Hence, using intuition to make your love life happier.

There’s a lot to be said for the power of suggestion! And if that’s not quite enough at first, you may even want to share your outcomes with your partner. After all, “I think you’re so sexy when you’re doing the yard work,” goes a lot further than “I wish you’d mow the lawn, already,” don’t you think?