According to popular magazines, sex is one of the best ways to intimately connect with your partner, but hey! you can have intimacy without sex, it’s not about lust alone right? The reality is that there’s too much attention put on sex as a means of maintaining a relationship. But, couples need more than a connection between the sheets to maintain a strong bond through the hard times.
They need to be able to work through commitment issues, many sacrifices, and tons of misunderstandings and it takes more than sex to do that. While there are many ways to connect with a partner in very meaningful and life-changing ways, I’m going to share with you four kinds of intimate connections that are intimacy without sex.
1. Touch
Hand-to-hand or hand-to-body contact seems to be a rarity in the 21st century. We are becoming a somewhat touch-phobic society, and that reaction can permeate into even the most intimate of our relationships. However, we need to remember that touch helps couples express themselves and be better understood, no matter how long they’ve been together. Touch makes couples feel connected, secure and can bring about a sense of team camaraderie.
What to Do
Touch your partner every chance you get. Touch them as a greeting, a farewell, when they’re happy, sad, fearful, celebrating or admitting defeat. Even a brief touch is a kind of intimacy without sex that gets your intention (desire, care, comfort, support, etc.) across without saying a word.
2. Reciprocal Touch
It’s one thing to initiate touch or a form of intimacy without sex. It’s another thing to reciprocate it. As I said before, touch is a conversation without words, and you need two people to have a conversation. So if your partner touches you, touch them back! Use this kind of intimacy to let them know you understand or that you feel the same way. Romantic relationships are all about reciprocity, after all.
What to Do
Touch is equally valuable, whether giving it or receiving it. It’s a powerful healer and touching your partner is an invitation for them to touch you back. You should initiate touch when you are offering your support or approval, but also when you are feeling vulnerable and unsure. And when your partner touches you, make sure they know that their touch is important and that you appreciate, and encourage it. The more you do it, the more contagious it becomes.
3. Memory Displacement
You’ve seen it in movies a thousand times: A disconnected relationship is reconnected by the emotional tale of how the couple first met, fell in love, or helped each other through a tumultuous time. The fact is that we all respond to the romantic memories that make a relationship.
What to Do
Relationships are built on memories. But when too many of those memories become mundane or unpleasant, it’s easy to feel more disconnected than connected. If you and your partner are going through hard times, you can always supplement the lack of current happy memories with your positive, happy past memories.
4. Empathetic Rant Support
Couples lose their connection each time a partner sides with the enemy during an emotional outburst. And any time you challenge your partner’s emotional rant, you are basically siding with the bad guy/girl (whether you intend to or not).
What to Do
Partners rant, and say things you may disagree with, but remember, these words are what needs to be said to help them get through the moment. As a sympathizing lover, you should respect that, and that respect is a form of intimacy without sex. These are the moments when a partner just needs to be heard and understood—nothing more. Resist the urge to “help,” correct their thinking or disagree in an attempt to assist them to learn from the experience. Because they will not learn. Instead, they will disconnect and think twice about sharing feelings with you in the future.