Committed or Not?
It is somewhat taboo in our society to being romantically involved with more than one person. The only acceptable type of relationship is Monogamy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t always the case. Monogamous based on love is a relatively modern invention.
Purpose of Marriage in Old Times
For most of human history and in cultures across the world, the purpose of marriage was to form alliances between families and to produce male heirs. Love had little to do with it. Men often took lovers on the side, and in many cultures polygamy (having more than one wife) was the norm.
Evolutionary Tendencies in Modern Times
You may have heard the theory that men are naturally polygamous, in that spreading one’s seed as widely as possible was an evolutionary advantage to our ancestors. At the same time, women would need the stability of a committed relationship with a reliable man to help provide for the children, and if that man failed to fulfill their needs, she might then turn to a more suitable partner. These evolutionary tendencies of our ancestors may persist in modern times. While this does not, of course, in any way justify cheating, it may help explain why it happens.
Polyamory and Commitment
And cheating is, unfortunately, rampant. I know because I hear about it every day. It would seem that some folks just aren’t cut out for monogamy. So, what is a couple to do when they love each other dearly and want to stay together but, despite this, cannot imagine being with only one person for the rest of their lives? They fear an affair is inevitable but don’t want to lie or hurt each other. Some couples resolve this dilemma by having a polyamorous or “open” marriage where they remain committed to one another while also having relationships with other people as well. But it’s not easy, and in order for this to work, there must be some ground rules!
The Goose and the Gander
It goes without saying that a double standard is unjust. Husbands who have been having affairs for years are often shocked and horrified when the wife finally suggests an open marriage so that she, too, may see other people. Sometimes the mere discussion of such an arrangement is scary enough to make him rethink what he has been doing behind her back! As the saying goes, “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
A Mutual Decision
Having an open marriage must be a mutual decision with both parties agreeing to the terms—especially honesty. The purpose, after all, is to eliminate cheating; lying and sneaking around have no place in this arrangement. Successful polyamorous couples have good communication and decide together on the rules that will work for them. Some couples prefer to share intimacy only with certain specified persons with whom they both feel comfortable. Other open marriages are more flexible, with the spouses having the freedom to choose their respective playmates.
A Happy, Open Marriage
Some prefer full disclosure, while others would rather not know the details of their trysts. The important thing is that the husband and wife both voluntarily enter into an agreement which is clearly spelled out, understood and acceptable to both of them. Polyamory is not for everyone, but it may be an option for couples who honestly agree that it is the best way for them to have a happy marriage.
‘Polyamory may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if two consenting adults find happiness in an unconventional setup, more power to them! Life’s too short to live by outdated rules.
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander”—what a clever saying! But let’s be real, it’s often not that simple. The irony of men wanting freedom while restricting women is just too rich to ignore in this discussion.
“Open marriage”? Sounds like a fancy term for ‘I’m bored at home!’ Seriously though, if couples need rules for love, it might be time to reconsider their relationship entirely!
It’s fascinating how marriage has evolved over time. This article highlights a significant shift from alliances and practicality to emotional connections. Understanding these historical contexts helps us appreciate modern relationship dynamics.
This article is just promoting chaos! Monogamy has been the foundation of stable relationships for centuries. Why throw all that away for some trendy idea of ‘open marriages’? It’s just asking for trouble.
I absolutely love the perspective presented in this article! It’s so refreshing to see discussions about polyamory and open marriages being normalized. Love is diverse, and people should explore what truly works for them!
*sigh* Here we go again with the ‘open relationship’ nonsense. How many people can keep up with all those ‘ground rules’? Relationships are complicated enough without adding more drama!
“Open marriage” sounds like an oxymoron—how can you be committed while also being… well, uncommitted? Makes no sense to me!
‘Ground rules’? Sounds like a game of Monopoly where you can only land on certain properties! Why not just play it safe with one partner?
While I can see the appeal of polyamory, it raises important questions about trust and commitment. Can an open marriage truly fulfill both partners’ needs without leading to jealousy or resentment? I think there are too many variables involved.