How Do You Handle a Too Dependent Partner?


clingy 1Being loved by another person is unexplainable. It is the most incredible feeling! Except when that love crosses the obsession borderline. Indeed, even the most rational of accomplices can transform into a needy, over-dependent clinger now and then, which can make you feel a bit overpowered and, honestly, less pulled in to your other half.

Clinginess doesn’t need to be a permanent fixture in your relationship, though. In fact, the following simple steps can ease your partner’s urge to be by your side 24/7 and foster some healthy separation between you.

Encourage New Hobbies and Interests

Maybe your partner is clinging to you because he or she doesn’t really have all that much else going on. If this is the case, take the time to talk with your significant other about how he or she might be able to fill all that free time. Perhaps he’s always wanted to try surfing or she’s an amazing artist who could benefit from taking a painting class. Brainstorm together how your significant other can nurture his or her talents and desires—away from you.

Gift Your Partner with a Special Day

clingy 3 featuredPerhaps all your partner needs is some scheduled solo time to reset and refresh. A stressful job or family situation may be the cause of the clinginess and having a spa day, golf trip or other relaxing event to look forward to will help ease the nerves. He or she will return refreshed and less dependent on you for emotional support.

Set One Night a Week as “Friend Night”

Just like couples may schedule a weekly date night, you may consider making a point to designate one evening a week (or every couple of weeks if your schedules are crazy) for spending with your respective friends. If anything, doing this will remind your partner how much fun he or she has without you, giving you both space to be social on your own.

Schedule Regular Date Nights to Make Your Partner Feel Special

If you aren’t one of those couples who plan date nights in advance, it may be a good time to start. Your partner’s clinginess could be due to not getting enough “quality” time with you, so he or she might be trying to make up for it by seeking as much time as possible together. By scheduling date nights and choosing fun activities through which you can really bond, you’ll be making lasting memories together and helping your partner loosen his or her grip.

Verbally and Physically Assure Your Partner of Your Love

clingy 2Sometimes your partner may be feeling less than confident in your relationship, for reasons you may not even understand. This can lead to him or her tightening the hold on you and becoming clingy. The more you express your love, physically through physical affection and verbal affirmation the less your partner will feel the need to cling on to you.

Avoid Obvious Behaviors That Cause Your Partner to Question Your Commitment

Speaking of not feeling confident, be sure your actions aren’t causing the clinginess. What you may see as harmless flirting with a friend, for instance, your partner may see as a slight, or a sign that you’re into that person more than you are into him or her. This lack of confidence can certainly lead to clinginess and make your partner desperate for your attention and confirmation of your feelings. If you are indeed in love with your partner, you don’t want to do anything that would make him or her feel insecure about your relationship. Give this some serious thought, and be sure you’re truly doing all you can on your end to provide a safe and loving space for your significant other.