Improving Intimacy For This Year


          I make a lot of resolutions every year and i tell everyone about those. Why blame me? I feel pretty good about myself for doing that—and that’s good enough for me. And if you’re guilty of the same thinking, here’s the opportunity to make some real resolutions you’ll actually follow through with. I give you six sex resolutions to keep in 2018!

1. Keep It to Yourself
Research suggests that there is a downside to sharing your resolutions with others. It turns out that just sharing them is enough for you to feel so good about yourself that you don’t end up following through with them. Sound familiar? It does for me! The good news is that a sex resolution is a different kind of resolution. These resolutions are not the kind of promises you pass around the dinner table (at least not at my house). The point is, a sex resolution is something you create because you want to see it through. You don’t make sex resolutions to impress; you make them to happen. So, let’s make this the year!

2. Have More Sex
No partner? No problem! You don’t need to have a partner to have great sex and practice makes perfect. Don’t have the time? Just borrow it from somewhere else! Take 10 minutes away from social media, five minutes away from daydreaming or another unnecessary activity that eats away at your free time. Then, have some solo sex. Solo sex is great because it teaches you to explore your own body and discover your likes and dislikes. Explore your erogenous zones and focus on your own pleasure. You can blow your own mind and take all the credit!

3. Have a Noncommittal Schedule
Don’t have a sex schedule? Indeed, your life is hectic, but scheduling sex can put a lot of pressure on you and your partner—if you have one. It can make you nervous, mess with your expectations, and ruin an otherwise great resolution. However, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a schedule at all. Keep a schedule but make it clear that sex is only an option. Whether alone or with a partner, the point of the schedule is to pamper yourself, to create good feelings and feel pleasure in any way you choose. If sex happens, go for it!

4. Stop Focusing on Your Imperfections
There is no such thing as perfection in an imperfect world. And in the end, great sex has much less to do with what you have than how you use it. So, get your mind off of your insecurities and be fully present during the act. Be fully aware of your emotions, the sensations, and be in complete control of how you’re processing all this good stuff. You’re the one in the driver’s seat.

5. Foreplay Can Happen at Any Time
You know foreplay is important, so you learn to dirty dance, take your clothes off slow, and kiss a little longer. But the true art to foreplay is never following the rules. You can kickstart some amazing sex with a sexy bedtime story, a morning massage, flirty afternoon text, and an evening foot rub. You are planting the seeds to great sex anytime you take a moment to experience (and/or share) pleasure. And foreplay doesn’t have to stop the moment sex begins because you don’t play by the rules—you make them as you go along.

6. Explore Beyond Your Playbook
If you’re like a lot of people, you know what you like, what your partner likes, and you follow that winning prescription because, well, it wins. So where’s the trophy? You’re not going to get it if you don’t move beyond your playbook. Great sex is more about experimenting with the experience than developing a winning formula. Be in the moment. Explore each other with curiosity and creativity. Talk about what sounds good and then be honest about what feels good while you’re in the moment. Open communication is the only “play” you should ever need.