People runs to you for advice and considering the amount of time you spend giving thoughtful advice to your friends and family, it’s a wonder you don’t add “part-time advice-giver” to your resume. However, when faced with the daunting task of supplying some for yourself, you might feel your advice falls short of genuine. You guessed it, it’s all a matter of perspective.
Thinking about your circumstances in your own skin makes it difficult to see the bigger picture. When giving advice to others you have the magic of objectivity. For example, when someone else is in love, you don’t share that same infatuation. Without those intense feelings present, you are able to give objective advice for the unhealthy decisions others might be blinded to. The same applies to the reversed scenario.
Don’t fret! Just because you can’t turn off your feelings doesn’t mean you can’t become your own advice guru and see through the fog of a difficult decision or take the initiative to change an unhealthy habit. These three simple steps will help you through the process.
Reassign the Roles
Be the stage manager, not just the prop in your own show. This can be as simple as changing the order you do things. Instead of seeking advice from others first, then weighing multiple opinions, be your own emergency contact. Never forget that the experiences you’ve lived through are your unique opportunities for growth and reflection. Let your individual path speak your truth and give your truth the chance to shine.
Remove the “But”
I think I should really stay in, but I don’t want to offend my friend. Sounds familiar, right? Often we will respond to what we know we should do with a fearful “but”. Don’t double-back on your initial instincts! This will help eliminate distracting factors that are not useful when following through with what you know is right for you.
Turn Those “Shoulds” to “Musts”
Having an idea of what is best and taking action are two separate things. Taking control of your destiny through your own advice demands commitment. Saying I should journal every day is not as active as I must journal every day. Make that solid promise to yourself that your advice is worth your effort!
Learning to trust your initial instincts can be difficult but worth every minute of the journey. Empower yourself to treat the advice you give to yourself as carefully and thoughtfully as advice you would give your best friend. You deserve the consideration and care.